The 8 C's (and 5 P's) of Self

In IFS we speak of the Self , with a capital S. Self is our essence, our seat of consciousness - it's the aspect of us that isn't a part. Virtually every spiritual tradition has a word for it, including Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness in Christianity, and Te in Taoism. So the Self is something that has been discovered independently all over the world,

and it's remarkable how consistent the descriptions of it are throughout all of these traditions.

From an IFS perspective, Self is intended to be the leader of the inner system. Any human system tends to function best with clear, respected leadership. (Even in indigenous cultures, which tended to be more egalitarian, the opinions of elders were revered.) We often use the analogy of an orchestra when describing parts - Self is the conductor. Self relates to our parts - and to others - with various qualities which have been alliterated into eight C words and five P words:

Compassion

Connectedness

Curiosity

Creativity

Calm

Confidence

Clarity

Courage

Presence

Patience

Persistence

Perseverance

Playfulness

These qualities enable Self to work with our parts - rather than against them - to resolve conflicts, and provide balance. As our parts learn that they can trust our Self, they begin to look more to Self for leadership and guidance. While the above qualities aren't all present at once, it's to the degree that one or more of them is present that we can assess how much Self-energy we have at any given moment.

Often in day-to-day life, however, most of us find that Self isn't very present. When parts come to dominate our day-to-day mental functioning, they obscure the Self like clouds covering the sun. The Self is still there, but it's hidden - we can't feel it, nor access it. We refer to this as being parts led - when parts are running the show. One moment this part takes over, the next moment another part takes over, and then another one - and the result is a whole lot of mental churn in our heads, day in and day out.

When a part takes over our seat of awareness, we say that it has blended with us. We think we're the part when this happens, and we see the world through the part's eyes. If a part of me blends with me and gets very angry with you, for example, it will feel to me like the totality of my being is angry with you - and no other perspectives will be available to me at that moment. In fact, any time we have a strong reaction to something, we can bet that one or more parts are involved - and that what we're feeling is coming from them. We can use these day-to-day triggering episodes as guideposts, so to speak - to point us to the parts inside of us who are reactive, who are hurt, and who need our help.

The natural question becomes - how do we get more Self into the picture? The key here is that we don't have to go looking for it. It's not something we need to try and activate, or try and strengthen - it's not a muscle that needs exercised. Instead what we find is that, as parts unblend, Self just appears. When the clouds part, the sun comes out. As we heal our parts with IFS by helping them release the burdens (trauma) that they're carrying, they no longer need to blend as much as they used to. This provides space for more Self-energy in day-to-day life.

See my Internal Family Systems article for more on this amazing approach to healing and self-exploration.